Make us laugh

I may have picked up a dead trout the stocked truck dropped. It’s ok I chased the bees off it and it was not to jerkyfied. My dog enjoyed it.

 

The funniest thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook, was a black guy slipping on ice for 9 seconds but didn’t go anywhere.

 

Ask me why I don’t cut grass anymore? Because I get what equates to $4.00 a yard.

 

I was driving down the road from work one day, and someone threw an Eclair in my window going the opposite direction.

 

Stain is still there.

 

I’ve been on the phone with Royal Caribbean for four hours. I need to secure my soda package.

 

Coffee is a powerful beverage.

 

I was beside a police dog today. It wanted to bite my face off.

 

Make your bed? Every piece of clothing I own is on the floor.

 

When I was stationed in Beaufort SC, we were all gathered in a hangar before boarding the plane to go overseas for a 6 month deployment. In Uniforms. We were waiting for the MPs to run their dogs through looking for any Contraband. Drugs mostly.
Anywho, I had taken my cover (hat) off and put it on the alice pack I was using as a carry on. The MP came along with his dog. A big, heavy-set, thing. Wet mouth. He set t to sniffing my bag, and in the process, the dog drooled all over the bag, and my cover.
I got upset, since my cover was ruined. I told the MP he owed me a new one. He got a snotty attitude, the "I'm an MP, I can do anything I want" type. We had a short stand-off, until I saw the officer in charge of the MPs. I very politely and respectfully called him over, and told him my version of events. He took the MP aside, and they had a short discussion about the situation. He came back, MP in tow, and asked what size cover i wore. When I told him, he turned to the MP, and held out his hand. I got the MP's cover, and he got my drool-covered one. Hey, it was his dog.

From then on, I wasn't real popular with the MPs on base. Especially since I wound up dating one of the female MPs. Anywho, The MPs looked like they wanted to rip my face off. Much like the Police Dog you mentioned

Have fun, all!
Pat☺

 

I drove my SandRail on base hunting. But, my tach shorted out and I lost spark in a cylinder. The guy at game check lent me some German tools I read the plugs. Limped it home empty handed.

 

I got a boil on my back the size of a golf ball.

 

Did I just see a Yamaha add? Ugh, please delete?

 

I’m getting new glasses at the end of the month.
I can change my depth and vision distance with contacts.
But, I have microscopic vision without anything.

 

I’m trading my 4Runner in for a Bronco!

 

I’m not posting stupid nonsense anymore and ruining this site?

 

You do seem to post a lot of what seems like random streams of consciousness.

 

Ya well don’t have any friends.

 

Go to your front door and lock it. Then turn it real hard back and forth. Does it unlock and open without a key cause mine does I’m swapping locks right now.

 

My Roku hacked my TV and HVAC system?

 

I blame it on Disney!

 

May have been videos? I think I owe the free porn industry a couple million dollars. So I ordered some vintage Penthouse mags off of eBay.

 

Air drop me and my 4R into Ukraine! I’m taking my muzzleloader!

 

You can’t put stickers on your back window? O’man I just stuck on my Bass Slam Challenge event award.

 

Why does Moscow look like a big bullseye target on the weather channel’s map? I just noticed.

 

Why buy a new vehicle if it’s gonna get wrecked? I saw three near miss accidents just going into town for a last minute gift.

 

They’re Jewish anyways I was just trying to be nice.

 

Guess I will get a job in the coal mines like grandpa. That’s all I deserve for Christmas.

 

And eat lard sandwiches.

 

I was fishing, guy hollers “Snake”! I look over and he was peeing in the lake.