How to prioritize a bunch of (expensive) upgrades

Hi all, wondering if you can help me prioritize some upgrades. I have a 2021 4Runner ORP with stock suspension, no lift. It only has a rack, ARB skid plates, and all-terrains (K02s). My main offroading use case is bumpy forest roads, including difficult spots along forest roads, and I go camping 10-15 times per year, often 1-2 hours from a major town. Last weekend I was on BLM land and was able to climb a small ledge to get to a great campsite, and took a bunch of very off-camber bumps with ease; however, it wasn't very comfortable on the longer portions of the road. I also hit my skid plates multiple times, making me think a lift would be useful. I was never really limited in where I could go - there were roads that were quite clearly "Wrangler-only" that I passed on as they would simply be too unstable or steep. My main goals at this point, which I need help prioritizing:
1. Safety - make sure I never get stuck in a life-threatening situation and can get back to safety if needed - this includes recovery but also stability, as I feel right now I have quite a bit of lean on off-camper bumps, which makes me quite nervous.
2. Protect investment - I don't have rock sliders, only skid plates, so I feel only partially protected (though I don't think I've ever really hit anything so far where a skid plate would have helped me)
3. Provide more comfort on long rides - I have a partner and a dog, and would like to take kids eventually, on long trips
4. Provide mobility - I would like to not feel inhibited and overall "mature" my 4Runner as I am pretty into the overlanding/off-roading thing.

I am trying to optimize for quality and strategic upgrades, and cost. Right now I am being quoted $7K including labor for: (1) Dobinson's IMS + 2" lift, a (2) Dissent lo-pro bumper + Warn 10K winch, and (3) rock sliders. I have heard "buy once, cry once" but unfortunately all of these upgrades have a ton of caveats and trade-offs at that price point, mostly the lift and bumper - no product is "perfect", e.g., eve the IMS lift/suspension sounds like it reduces gas mileage and adds a rough ride on roads. I am okay paying for labor - I know I could save here, but I don't have mechanical friends or a garage/shop space. That is fine for me, so please don't push me on the labor cost. However, I am not absolutely certain I really need these things. The thing is, they all interrelate in some way: if I'm going to add weight from the bumper and rock sliders, IMS is apparently better suspension. But maybe a winch isn't "really" needed (though of course it's great insurance).

Do folks have thoughts on what I should prioritize, if I wanted to pick 2 of the 3 investments? Or should I just bite the bullet?

Thanks!

 

If you are married, bite the bullet and hide the rest.

If you are not married, bite the bullet and get a girlfriend.

 

Tough decision. If you add a low pro bumper and winch you will probably see some sag in front - I did, even with an aluminum bumper. Which will make you want to at least replace suspension in front - and if you do that you may as well do rear. That would just leave sliders, which would be the easiest to do on your own later on down the road.

I did bumper/winch first for the "insurance", then rack for storage, then sliders, then lift/tires, then skids. I installed everything except the lift on my own (friend helped with winch/bumper install). Took me about 3.5 years to do it all; some due to cost (I was originally "allowed" one big purchase a year by the Mrs. but last year had several so I could finish). I also waited for holiday sales to save as much coin as possible. I did the lift towards the end because I wanted to wear out stock tires and wanted to know my final build weight (at least had the final pieces picked out or on order) so that I knew what springs to get.

 

Are you in California? (Was thinking you went to StellerBuilt)

So my advice is from what I went through.
Take a moment to assess how comfortable you are cutting into it and what looks good to you.

I say this as I’m about 3 years in and have bought a 2nd suspension, a 2nd front bumper, a rear double swingout bumper AFTER I bought a tire carrier. The more driving I did, the more I wanted to do and I fell in love with particular types of armor. (I like the plate look vs tubular and also like the Baja look)

what I’m getting at is if you are ok with cutting into it, make sure it’s got your personality in it. Just be patient, I should have been :/

 

Thanks. What suspension, bumper, and rock sliders did you get?

 

-Started with OME nitro, then jumped to Dobinsons IMS

-Went with BudBuilt after I spent a year researching those damn things

-Front bumper started with Victory Blitz slimeline went to Demello Baja

-Rear started with DirtCom carrier and went to Brute Force Fab rear double swingout