Make us laugh

Getting old,

 

I heard the planes are all running some Bio-recycled Cow Shit and French Fry grease now? Some Trillion gallons a year?

 

I was going down the road the other day. Look over and a guy was snorting something and driving?

 

https://myfox28columbus.com/news/of...-dioxide-farmers-europe-scandinavian-country#

 

Hey, my neighbors are'nt burning trash? That's odd?lol

 

I was at the Pawn Shop, a guy brought in two gold coins. A 5 dollar and 2 1/2 dollar. I says "How much dovyou want for them", he says " Atleast face value?" I said "Sure" and handed him $7.50.

 

I think I made $.50 cents on that deal. All the money went to Florida.

 

Guy driving down a country road. Looked to his left and saw a 3-legged chicken runnin' in stride with him and he was doin' 35mph! He was amazed!
He thought to himself, a 3-legged chicken!....never saw one before and he's fast! He decided to speed up to 45mph. Certainly that 3-legged chicken couldn't keep up with him! He looked to his left and there's the 3-legged chicken keeping stride with him! He thought to himself that 3-legged chicken is amazing and fast! He thought to himself, no way that 3-legged chicken could do 55mph!

He sped up to 55mph thinking he'd lose the 3-legged chicken but he looked and that 3-legged chicken was keeping up! All of the sudden, that 3-legged chicken ran in front of the pickup and sped away up this road that led to a farmhouse! The guy stopped. Backed up and drove up the road towards the farmhouse. He drove into the yard and the farmer came out to meet him. The guy told him how he saw a 3-legged chicken runnin' out on the road at 55mph and then he darted this way. He asked the farmer if he knew anything about it!

Farmer responded...he did know about the 3-legged chicken because he raises them! The guy asks him why he raises 3-legged chickens. Farmer told him when his family sits down for sunday dinner and they have fried chicken that he likes to have a leg, his wife likes to have a leg and his son likes to have a leg. That's 3 legs so he decided to raise 3-legged chickens to solve the dinner issue.

They guy was surprised about raising 3-legged chickens and how fast they were! He then asks the farmer how they tasted! The farmer responded he didn't know.......he's never caught one!

 

No, this is completely awesome as a photo!

 

Is there an AFTER photo?

 

Yo' mama's SO POOR, I saw her walking down the street one day wearing only one shoe and I asked her, "Did you lose your shoe?" and she said, "No, I FOUND one!"

 

https://youtu.be/1B1RJiOGPUI?si=QmhBWhBSIdPTXQsD

 

I'll probably butcher this but here goes:

A pilot and a goat farmer are flying the farmer's prized goat to an auction. Suddenly the engines of the plane fail. As the plane begins to descend the pilot looks to the farmer and says: "We only have two parachutes."
The farmer responds: "But what about my goat?"
Pilot: "The goat? Man fuck the goat!"
The farmer leans in and says quietly: "You think we got time?"

 

I'm sorry but you can't post that joke in this thread. Please raise this one from the dead

https://www.4runners.com/threads/th...joke-topic-as-suggested-by-thatbassguy.31704/

 

There's whole "Yo' Mama" thread? That should make for some fun reading!

 

https://youtube.com/shorts/HUdx1kL8Z2g?si=vRYHc5FlP8nXeJHX

 

OMG...Do you remember that truly obnoxious kids' show Teletubbies? They had dolls that would talk if you squeezed their belly. We found one of the defective ones at a garage sale much like this one that would say "Faggot, faggot!"

https://youtu.be/7hirnk2vPd4?si=rCTHNcV-wit5FQMn

 

My son loved to watch Boohbah. So we got him the yellow one since that was his favorite. The only problem was it kept making farting noises. He took it everywhere and people kept looking at us when he pushes the button. We still have it.

 

I was watching BBC offshore in the Caribbean Sea. They said in the UK if you want to kill yourself you just go to the doctor and they give you a pill done deal.lol And they are pouring Acids on people.

 

I need a video of this! A farting Teletubbie would be epic!

 

I will have to dig it out and see if it still makes noises. If it does, I will record it.

 

We have the green one, I wonder what it will say (I forgot).